eharmony review: The dating app for people who treat finding a spouse like a full-time job
I’ve been testing dating apps for a long time now, and the question my friends ask me most isn't "how does the algorithm work?" but rather "which app is actually the best?"
Lately, as we've all gotten older (and more willing to settle down), eharmony has snuck into the conversation more often than I’d like to admit. It’s known for being the go-to for the over-50 crowd, but its "hip" new commercials suggest the company is desperate to attract a younger user base.
Whatever their marketing strategy, the claim that "every 14 minutes, someone finds love on eharmony" piqued my interest. So, I decided to give it a real college try to see whether its infamous questionnaire and algorithm-based matching system actually work. Below is my detailed experience with eharmony, from sign-up to connecting with other users.
Getting started on eharmony
Once you download the app, you have two choices: “Join now” or “Log in.” There isn't an option to sign in with Facebook or Google on this screen. (Given the app's older demographic, I honestly expected a Facebook login to be front and center.)
Next, you select your country and your gender. You have three options: woman, man, or nonbinary.
After you pick one, a note pops up letting you know you can "update your gender at any time." This is cool considering eharmony’s history of being less-than-welcoming to gay and nonbinary folks. But that feeling of progress evaporates when you’re asked, “Who are you open to meeting?” You can pick women, men, or nonbinary people — but the app doesn't let you make multiple selections. It’s a major downside for queer and bisexual daters who want a wider pool.
If you decide to keep going, you’ll share what you're looking for (casual, serious, or just browsing) and then get smacked in the face with a massive consent pop-up.
I didn't click “accept all,” and it still let me move forward, so at least there’s no gatekeeping there. Finally, the app asks you to sign up with your email address, Apple, or Google account. It’s weird that they bury this step so deep in the onboarding process instead of putting it at the very beginning, but I eventually chose Google — it’s just easier that way.
You’re in. Now what?
After successfully getting through the initial registration, you’ll get a cute little welcome message: “Congrats — you’re taking the first step towards finding someone who gets you. Now, let’s see what’s next for you.”
This is the part we’ve all been complaining about for years. This extensive questionnaire is a hallmark of eharmony, and it’s what the company claims is the "secret sauce" to its matchmaking success. The first screen is just an intro that basically says to find someone right for you, the best place to look is within yourself. (I think this makes total sense.)
Clicking “continue” brings you to a screen with two tips: Spend 10 to 20 minutes taking the quiz, and go with your gut. (I am curious if the upcoming questions are based on whether you chose man, woman, or nonbinary for your gender preference. It would be interesting to see if a male user gets different phrasing than a female or nonbinary user.)
I’m not going to list every single question, but here’s a quick rundown of the first 15 percent:
Where is your ideal place to live? (Regardless of where you are now.)
Why do you want a relationship? You can choose three options, including things like “emotional security,” “so I’m not alone,” and “frequent intimacy” (go eharmony for including that one!).
Why are you single? (First of all, rude. Also, not sure some of you are ready to go down that rabbit hole.)
Would you sleep in one bed or separate bedrooms?
One thing I didn’t love is that if you change your mind about an answer, there isn’t a “back” button to revise it. Once you click, you’re committed.
Moving on… the next set of questions focuses on specific interests. Some are multiple choice, while others demand "exactly two answers required." It covers the basics like smoking and drinking, plus lifestyle questions like whether you prefer cooking or going out to eat (again, wondering if they ask the guys this, too). I appreciated that you could choose “none” for sports, but it was weird that it asked if I played an instrument, but never asked which one.
Honestly, by this point, I was ready to tap out, but I’m doing this for all of you singletons out there who are ready to find your forever person.
The next section is picture-based and starts to feel a little like a Rorschach test. It gives you two shapes and asks which appeals to you more. Once that’s over, you get an encouraging pop-up: “Halfway there — keep it up!” Then, more pictures — this time of homes, flowers, and nature scenes.
The most interesting part of this section was a question about your “immediate reaction” if someone close to you upsets you. When I picked my first choice, I got a little pop-up scolding me: “Most people tend to pick this answer because it seems the most logical. Please take a moment and make sure you are picking the right answer that applies to you.” OK, eharmony.
It randomly hits you with a climate change question, and then things get serious. However, the marriage question didn’t sit right with me. Not because of what it asked (“What do you think about marriage as an institution?”) but because of the answers it didn’t offer. It felt limited. It also places a question about whether “sex sells” right underneath a question about set mealtimes, which is... a choice.
Once you finally finish, you’re met with a congratulations screen. You made it.
Even more details, if you can believe it
OK, so you’ve made it this far — congrats! Now, you have to fill out your full name, birthday, occupation, height, education level, annual income, whether you have children, religion, and ethnicity. I literally felt like I was filling out a loan application.
They also ask for your marital status. The only options are single, separated, divorced, and widowed. At first, I thought this was weird for a "forever love" app, but then it clicked. Since so many eharmony users are older, knowing if someone is divorced or widowed is actually helpful context. (That said, bad news for the poly crowd: there is absolutely no option for ethical non-monogamy here.)
Next, you choose two required prompts to answer (500 characters max) and write a short bio. Then comes the photo section. Wildly enough, eharmony lets you “skip” this step entirely. If you try, a pop-up gently nudges you to reconsider because you’ll "stand out more," but you can proceed without a face. For a site this serious, that feels like a loophole for catfish.
eharmony is notorious for being pricey, so when a “Welcome Gift” screen popped up, I braced myself for what was to come. Sure enough, clicking “unwrap gift” reveals a 50% off premium subscription offer.
Warning: If you click "Next" on this screen, it immediately asks for payment info. It looks like a paywall, but don’t be fooled — you can hit the “back” button to bypass it and get to the free version. Don't let them trick you.
How much will dating on eharmony cost you?
While you can sign up for eharmony for free, the app really pushes you to get a paid subscription. (The Australian Competition and Consumer Commission has actually sued the company for auto-renewals people didn’t consent to, so... proceed with caution.)
Anyway, here's the pricing structure I was offered. Note that yours may differ depending on where you live, when you sign up, etc.
Premium light: $14.90 per month
Unlimited messaging with 15 matches monthly
See one photo of each profile
Unique personality profile
Search near you
Premium plus: $16.90 per month
Unlimited messaging with 30 matches monthly
See all photos
Unique personality profile
Search near you
See who’s seen you
Premium unlimited: $18.90 per month
Unlimited messaging with all matches
See all photos
Unique personality profile
Search near you
See who’s seen you
Filter new members first
The matching process (finally!)
After all that data entry and the predatory subscription BS, the app tells you it's finally ready to show you your “featured profiles” — basically three members you’re supposed to rate. You can skip this section, but I moved forward so I could tell you what happens.
Clicking “Let’s go” brought me to my first profile. I couldn't even view her photo; tapping it immediately triggered a request for payment.
Then I looked at the details. She was a solid two hours and 30 minutes away from me. She was also seven years younger than me (weird, since the app never asked for my age preference earlier). The only good thing? It said she was "online yesterday," which suggests she’s an active user — if she’s real.
The profile did show some info, like height, sports, and our "common trait" (we both "seek comfort when things go wrong," apparently). You get the option to "Like" or "Skip." If you click "Like," it lets you send a message, and I assume it notifies them. My other two "featured" options were also over an hour away, despite the app knowing my zip code.
Once you get through that, it says “See who’s here” and dumps you into a feed of BLURRED PHOTOS. There’s also a bright orange banner at the top, constantly trying to force you into buying a subscription. It feels aggressive.
Is eharmony worth the download?
To be blunt, I think you should try literally any of our other top-recommended apps before considering eharmony. Yes, I often rate it as the "best for marriage," but that’s almost entirely because of the sheer volume of data it collects. (Even after "finishing" the quiz, I found there were still 24 more questions waiting for me in my profile, plus tons of sections to add interests.)
The person who should be on this app is Charlotte York, in every sense. She’s focused on finding her knight in shining armor, she lives in NYC (so she’d have way more options than I do in a small Virginia town), and she has disposable income.
If you fit that profile, then cool — this might actually be the best place to find your soulmate, provided you can dodge the aggressive ads for a premium subscription (though if you’re Charlotte, you can afford it).
But if you’re not willing to shell out any cash and you know you’re not looking for anything serious, I’d say it’s probably fine if you never download the eharmony app.
